PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
