i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
