u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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