oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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