He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
