i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
