Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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