I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
