I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
