yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
