last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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