So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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