So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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