my vag is so smooth its legendary
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
