So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
