it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
nutella sex= disaster
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
