He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
