if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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