im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
