Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
