remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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