Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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