do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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