OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
