this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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