OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
