my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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