Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
