my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
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Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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