reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
