WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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