If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
