There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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