I hate your face
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize