Define "chronic" masturbator.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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