Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
