went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
