my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
