We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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