and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Couch. On fire.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
