and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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