im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
