still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
two words...techno handjob
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
