dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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