I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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