if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
