Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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