Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
