If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
