He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
