i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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