So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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