I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
