This girl is more easily done than said...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
