last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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