so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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