I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
