Apparently you make a good broom.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
