I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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