Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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