On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
