Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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