when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
