haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
